The trip out to the caravan has been a joy, the lanes are bursting with wild flowers. The reservoir is sparkling in the morning sun it’s a day that makes you glad to be alive. The banks look frothy I love this time of year.its a quiet path you only ever meet cyclists or dog walkers, I met a lady with a dog that barked at me she said maybe he doesn’t like pink(my attire) really who doesn’t love pink lol. I finally reached the caravan and it’s an oasis of tranquility, the only sounds you here are the birds singing and the people on the allotment below working and chattering away.
I’ve put out seeds and worms and the blackbirds have ventured in already, back home we struggle to get birds because of all the cats. I went to the water butt and what should jump out on me but a frog luckily Louise had left a stick in it, so he could easily make his way out.
I’ve got my little flask with me and two easy peeler satsumas, my tea break. It’s time now to just lie back and soak up the atmosphere and to think how lucky I am to have this little bolt hole to come and write in.
I love this time of year everything is so filled with promise. Life is good at the moment I’m off on a trip to France to see Louise and kezz it’ll be good to see them where they are happiest, French croissants and baguettes for me I know you can get them here now but nothing beats a French background.
The online dating is working I’ve met a really nice guy seems too good to be true, time will tell on that one, went swimming for the first time this year boy was it frozen but what a feeling afterwards, invigorating.
I’m challenging myself all the time and it’s fun, I’m now looking for some other part time work to boost my income, I’ve got holidays booked Tintagel, Cornwall for an overnighter and Scotland in October really exciting year this year long may it continue.
I still have down days but I sit back with it and relax I’m aware of it happening now but I’m determined to push on.
Dare I say it, I’m happy woo hoo.
Insomnia it’s a tough one, I don’t sleep not normally, I’m up half the night, eating, writing, FB anything that will amuse my active mind. Maybe I’m just not tired enough but as I sit in the middle of the night I realise it’s not quite normal to be so lively at this time of night, all around me is quiet and I kinda like it that way.
It struck me tonight that I’ve always lived with anxiety I never ever admitted quite how anxious I was all of the time, I seemed to manage to cover it up quite well, I also realise that I live in a rose tinted world dreaming, fantasizing not really looking at the reality of situations. It’s been my saving grace really. Anyway the nighttime is when I write so there is always a positive, God bless.
Wow I don’t believe it four months into the year and life is good, I feel like I’m getting on top of all my depression and anxiety. I think the key to this is by saying yes to everything , stretching myself, reaching out to others, taking time out to gather my thoughts and to carve a future for myself. I’ve completed my 60 day challenges so I’m ready to pick out more it certainly gives you a sense of achievement.
The online dating is going well, the weather is picking up, I’ve booked an overnighter to Cornwall with a neighbour and a week in Scotland with my sister, at the end of May I’ll be going off grid and taking a trip to France back over some old haunts so that’ll be interesting. I want to pinch myself as it’s almost to good to be true I still have my down days but on the whole life is good, bring it on.
Rain , i take it all back all my blogs about how much I hate the rain. I’ve woken this morning to rain and it’s like a blanket of bliss. I’m tucked up in bed and have no desire to go anywhere, now if the sun was shining I’d want to be up, pottering making plans for the day.
Maybe that’s why God gave us rain to slow us down more. Anyway if you ever hear me complain about it again just remind me to slow down and take time out. Even rain has good points.
I love Spring to peek out the door and see all the new growth, bulbs flowering, blossom on the crab apple, new shoots on the rose and other things it just makes my heart sing. I love nature and the sun is shining today so I can take my table and chair out into the garden and enjoy the splendour of it all. Doctors are now prescribing trips in nature and I can see why it’s a natural anti depressant. It’s the little things in life that amuse the most.
Ok so I had a three week relationship online, very strange. We talked every morning and night until we got to the point where he realised I didn’t earn a lot of money at which point he backed right off. I said “money wasn’t everything” and he said” I had a poverty mindset” anyway the point is he made me question my future do I need a better job than cleaning? I must admit it would be nice to earn a bit more. So what do I do about it I’m 54 years old is it to late to retrain?who knows and what would I do. And another thing that came up was the fact that I don’t drive, is that something else I should consider? Anyway all in all my 3 week relationship gave me lots to think about for that I’m truly grateful. So bring it on, next plse.